Were You Raised in a Virtual Barn? Thoughts on Social Networking Etiquette

There is no Emily Post of social networking. Oftentimes, we are on our own when we find ourselves asking ourselves: Do we reject that person’s Facebook friend request, or just let it sit in our notifications queue so they can’t friend request us again? When should we follow someone back on Twitter? Do other people mind when we check them in on FourSquare, or do they only use it to lurk and prefer to keep their whereabouts private? What is a good rule of thumb for determining whether it is appropriate to post pictures of other people to Tumblr or Instagram? Social networking brings people closer together, and that is usually pretty awesome; however, it seems people forget that, like any other social situation, you should think before you speak (or post), mind your p’s and q’s, and give credit where credit is due (don’t steal people’s content and thank people for sharing yours).

There are innumerable things that people do on social networking sites that can be irksome, but there are some things that I consider to fall into the category of bad social networking etiquette.  Here are just a few:

• Don’t retweet people who have just retweeted you. If I follow you, I prefer to only see your message once; not every time you retweet any Joe Schmo who thought your tweet was funny or retweetable. I saw your tweet once; I don’t want to see it again.
• Consider carefully before you publicly correct someone or draw attention to someone’s error. I corrected someone who was very gracious in responding, but I later felt like a jackass even though I was correct. This was on Twitter, and a direct message may have been more appropriate. I also have been corrected. In a specific case, I was annoyed by the fact that the person simply didn’t get my pun. Unless you are sure that it is necessary to correct someone or that you haven’t misinterpreted their message, then think twice about it. It may result in you looking silly, and it will put the other person in an uncomfortable situation of wanting to defend him or herself.
• Everyone likes the life of the party, but don’t be an attention hog. Know your audience, notice what other people are doing, and post in accordance with that. While it isn’t that unusual for people to tweet several times a day, I don’t want to see what you are doing every hour on Facebook, and I’m not going to read your blog if it reads like text messages to a close friend. Be conscientious of your socially networked friends and their interests.
• Please don’t post something emotionally vague. This either tends to make people think you are on the verge of offing yourself or that you are trying to get attention, and sometimes both. If you have a situation you can’t be explicit about, then it is probably too private to post about. If something is truly wrong, think about picking up the phone and calling a friend or a self-help line instead.
•  Cyberbullying is a huge problem, especially among youth. As if kids needed one more way for the mean kids to make fun of them. Don’t use social networking to be a bully. Just don’t. In a virtual space that allows anyone with a Twitter handle to be a critic, I still try to heed the age-old advice, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

I’m sure there could be an entire blog devoted to social networking etiquette, and maybe there is. Maybe that person will someday be a household name just like Emily Post. Until that day comes, I hope people use some common sense and social grace when navigating their social networks.